The self-destructive being is a rare oddity in any society.
Not only will they build empires,palaces,castles upon the highest peak but they intend on raising each pillar.
This flesh ,this body and this temple of complete and utter ruins
To create and to destroy
The complete creative process and cycle.
This is not a position or a negation it is simply , ineffibly and completely an expression of the inherent nothingness that neither is or is not.
“What then if I spend my hours in ecstatic debauchery? ”
He poses and ponders, their reasons of which he shall not ask for he is merely a stranger in passing, becoming far more estranged.
As one counts and each breaking chain, as a negation for their un-compensating vice of virtue.
He feigns , as he walks through the hall slowly, dissociated and dettached more so than before, a pistol or a revolving desert eagle, he flicks his index finger at his right temple as pulling a trigger.
He stops, and closes his eyes as if he is breathing for the first time once again, the clear air, pungent in its clarity.
Whether it’s a matter of love or the shear facts of biology, of blood relations, there is nothing there, there is no knowledge , no understanding , none at all.
“Family? Yeah but it’s more of an assumption not even fortune but chance and chance is far more fickle.”
“Ponder this with me… These common ideas of normal,healthy, well-being.”
“The last one is most important or it’s the only one that actually matters. Well-being or being well if I ,’I!’, ‘Me!’, I decide the wellness of my being and I shall simply then abuse the idea of me which You hold so dearly…”
His mantra is simple and he repeats it in his mind, shouting softly, as if rehearsing his final words or hopes that he may not see the morning.
” And yet I am incapable of happiness”
“and yet this, not merely happiness but my happiness, eludes me ”
One or the other, another classic cliché of his inability, ineptitude, indifference ,incapacitated conscience or a subconscious being….What Then?
postmodernborderline 